General
If you’re parenting a young adult right now, you already know the job description has changed. If you’re like me, you may not always be running spiritual development like a well-planned discipleship strategy. You may feel like you’re patching wounds in real time. Young adult kids are exploring boundaries, making decisions for themselves and challenging the holiness and community standard you have modeled for them. It can get ugly!
Maybe your young adult son stumbles in drunk one night. Maybe they’re experimenting with recreational drugs. Maybe they’re single and pregnant and a pattern of bad choices is emerging. Maybe they’ve walked so far from faith you’re not sure they can still hear you calling their name. It’s triage! And it’s exhausting!
But even in crisis, God hasn’t checked out on them—or on you. Here are a few practical ways to meet your young adult right where they are and while still gently pointing them toward Jesus without pushing them further away.
1. Start With Grace, Not Shock This is the miracle of the gospel, and it is not a one-time offering. They already know they blew it. They can feel the disappointment in the room before anyone says a word. So, take a breath and lead with, “I love you. I’m here.” That doesn’t mean you’re okay with every decision. They get that. But grace opens doors shame slams shut.
2. Keep Conversation Open and Safe Instead of lecturing, get curious. Ask questions that show you actually want to understand, not control: “What’s going on? How are you really doing? What is giving you anxiety? What are you excited about, or looking forward to?” When young adults feel safe, they talk. When they talk, God has room to move.
3. Live Your Faith in Front of Them You don’t have to preach a sermon. Just let them see you pray honestly, wrestle with Scripture, and trust Jesus in your own mess. Authenticity is magnetic. Your authenticity becomes a homing beacon as their mind and soul search for stability.
You can’t fix every crisis, but you can be the steady, grace-filled presence that reminds them God is still calling, and they can still answer.
When Your Young Adult is in Spiritual Triage
Parenting young adults can feel like constant triage as they test boundaries, make independent choices, and sometimes drift far from the faith you’ve modeled. In the middle of the mess, your steady grace, safe conversation, and authentic faith create space for God to keep working in their hearts. You can’t fix every crisis, but you can be the loving presence that reminds them there’s always a path back to Jesus.
Maybe your young adult son stumbles in drunk one night. Maybe they’re experimenting with recreational drugs. Maybe they’re single and pregnant and a pattern of bad choices is emerging. Maybe they’ve walked so far from faith you’re not sure they can still hear you calling their name. It’s triage! And it’s exhausting!
But even in crisis, God hasn’t checked out on them—or on you. Here are a few practical ways to meet your young adult right where they are and while still gently pointing them toward Jesus without pushing them further away.
1. Start With Grace, Not Shock This is the miracle of the gospel, and it is not a one-time offering. They already know they blew it. They can feel the disappointment in the room before anyone says a word. So, take a breath and lead with, “I love you. I’m here.” That doesn’t mean you’re okay with every decision. They get that. But grace opens doors shame slams shut.
2. Keep Conversation Open and Safe Instead of lecturing, get curious. Ask questions that show you actually want to understand, not control: “What’s going on? How are you really doing? What is giving you anxiety? What are you excited about, or looking forward to?” When young adults feel safe, they talk. When they talk, God has room to move.
3. Live Your Faith in Front of Them You don’t have to preach a sermon. Just let them see you pray honestly, wrestle with Scripture, and trust Jesus in your own mess. Authenticity is magnetic. Your authenticity becomes a homing beacon as their mind and soul search for stability.
You can’t fix every crisis, but you can be the steady, grace-filled presence that reminds them God is still calling, and they can still answer.
