General

David and Saul - A Biblical Response to Bullying

Bullying is a universal concern for parents. A 2022 study by the National Center for Education Statistics cited that 1 out of every 5 children report being bullied, while 100 percent of students polled reported experiencing or witnessing acts of bullying.

When our son was in fourth grade, we noticed that he was becoming resentful and aggressive. There was rage in his heart. When we asked him about the reason behind the change, he said another kid had been mean to him, hitting him with a closed fist. We had always taught him to avoid violence because it is not how Jesus would respond, and we found ourselves at a loss about what to do. We needed a two-venue response: What should we do as adults, and how should we use this situation to teach our children so that they become the best versions of themselves?

In America, all 50 states have anti-bullying laws or policies requiring schools to act upon reports. If bullying is based on race, sex, religion, national origin, or disability, it may be a civil rights violation under federal law (e.g., Title VI, Title IX, Section 504).

As parents, my wife and I wanted to understand our school district’s policy on bullying and harassment. This information allowed us to start a conversation based on the school’s bullying policy with the teacher and school counselor.

We discovered the importance of documenting and sharing with the school details, such as the who, what, when, and where of each bullying incident, and learned to keep a paper trail with all the details we could gather from our children. As we did, our son’s school was cooperative.

However, the beating continued. This time, the bully waited until the end of class when my son was busy putting his school supplies in his backpack and the teacher wasn't looking.

As Christian parents, it was difficult to address the topic of bullying through a biblical lens, especially when the bullying was happening to our own child. It would have been easy to pass on the cultural advice for these scenarios: “Close your fist and hit them hard between the nose and the eyes.” But is that really the advice we wanted to give? Is that a door we really wanted to open? Would that bring about the witness that Jesus wants of our son?

We were designed by God to be protectors of our children and often felt helpless when we could not protect our children from bullies. We kept our conversation with the school, but we knew our son needed more than school intervention to overcome this ongoing scenario.

The topic of bullying is addressed in both the Old Testament and the New Testament, which gave us great examples of responses to bullying that align with the teachings of Scripture.

One remarkable example, found in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel, is between David and Saul. Here we find a blueprint on David’s response to Saul’s mistreatment and watch how David’s respect for a hateful king mirrored Jesus’ command centuries later: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

The Story of David and Saul (1 Samuel 18–24, 26)

David, who was anointed by Samuel to be the king of Israel after Saul, suffered bullying, threatening behavior, and mistreatment yet responded with the respect, kindness, and integrity of a Spirit-filled believer. Throughout his suffering, God remained with David and strengthened him every step of the way. David’s relationship with God surely helped him overcome the threats of violence from King Saul. Eventually, he went on to become one of the most well-known kings of Israel.

When David was just a teen, he defeated the giant Goliath, gaining popularity among the tribes of Israel. David was brought into Saul’s service because of his courage, talents, and skills (1 Samuel 16:21). In the beginning, Saul was empowered by the Spirit (1 Samuel 10:6), he welcomed, even loved David greatly, and drew him nearby. Then Israel’s king, Saul, disobeyed God's command (1 Samuel 15) and the Spirit of the Lord departed from him (1 Samuel 16:14). At the same time, David was anointed (1 Samuel 16:13) and began to succeed in battle, drawing public praise (1 Samuel 18:7). “So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David” (1 Samuel 18:9, NLT).

Yet through it all, David conducted himself in a way that was worthy of the call he knew God had placed on his life. In fact, in 1 Samuel 24, we see David has the opportunity to kill King Saul but, instead, chooses to rebuke his actions while exercising mercy: “May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you. As that old proverb says, ‘From evil people come evil deeds.’ So you can be sure I will never harm you” (1 Samuel 24:12–13, NLT).

David’s response to the bullying by Saul was one of grace, respect for authority, trust in God, and forgiveness.

In grace, David didn’t retaliate or seek revenge. Instead, he foreshadowed the words of Jesus which tell us to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us (Luke 6:27). Out of respect for the position of the king, David confronted Saul with honor and humility in front of others. He said, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you?” (1 Samuel 24:9, NLT). In trust, David relied on the Lord to seek justice. He says to Saul in 1 Samuel 24:12, “May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you” (NVI). Finally, David spared Saul’s life a second time, modeling the repetition necessary for forgiveness as described by Jesus: “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22, NVI).

Jesus and Bullying

As parents, we chose to look to Jesus, our ultimate example, to guide us in responding and parenting our son through his episodes of bullying and mistreatment. During the time our son was being bullied, we committed to praying for the bully every night and continually reminded our son of the following principles:

1. Jesus knows exactly how you feel. He was bullied too—nevertheless He stayed strong and did what was right. “He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care” (Isaiah 53:3, NLT).
2. When someone is mean to you, Jesus wants you to be kind and pray for them. God can change a heart. Pray now and give God a little time to work. Even if they remain hard-hearted, keep praying every day until [name of the bully]’s heart changes. “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” (Matthew 5:44, ESV).

3. If someone is being mean, it's okay to leave and go talk to a grown-up about it. Telling a trusted adult what the bully said or did, with respect and honor that views them as someone who, despite their actions, was made in the image of God, can help stop a bully.  By walking away and confiding in a trusted adult, you are following Jesus' example. “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave […] and shake the dust off your feet” (Matthew 10:14, NIV).

4. Even when it’s hard, Jesus is with you, and He is stronger than any bully. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NIV).
5. God knows you perfectly and cares about your every tear. You are loved and valued. “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6–7, NIV).
6. Choose forgiveness always. When you forgive, you’re free to move on and to be joyful again. Jesus helps you do that, and we will always help you too. “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you” (Luke 6:27–28, ESV).

The situation with our son went on for weeks. We are proud of our son because he understood the importance of non-violent responses. Eventually, he was able to muster the courage to approach the bully and conveyed: “We don’t have to be enemies, we can be friendly to each other.”

Our son kept reporting each incident, he did not keep quiet, yet he maintained respect and stuck to the truth.

One morning, while our son was getting ready to go to school, I felt lead to pray Scriptures with him. I grabbed my son’s Kids Bible which contained an index of Scriptures, so we went to a couple of verses related to violence. Then we prayed together: the Scriptures over my son, and the Scriptures over the bully. We blessed him and asked God to help him be happy. That day, when I picked up my son from school, he said: “Dad, God answered my prayer! That kid came and said he was sorry, that what he did was wrong, and that he will never do it again.”

That was the kind of intervention we needed.

References & Resources

Institute of Education Science (IES), accessed on May 20, 2025, Student Reports of Bullying: Results From the 2022 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, State Anti-Bullying Laws & Policies, accessed on May 20, 2025, https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/laws.

Baumeister, R. F., Smart, L., & Boden, J. M. (1996). Relation of threatened egotism to violence and aggression: The dark side of high self-esteem, accessed on May 20, 2025, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/374668563_Relation_of_Threatened_Egotism_to_Violence_and_Aggression_The_Dark_Side_of_High_Self-Esteem.

Olweus, Dan. (2010). Bullying in schools: facts and intervention, accessed on May 20, 2025,https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228654357_Bullying_in_schools_facts_and_intervention.

Salmivalli, Christina. (2010). Bullying and the peer group: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, accessed on May 20, 2025, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/222564832_Bullying_and_the_peer_group_A_review.

Bandura, Albert & Barbaranelli, Claudio & Caprara, Gian & Pastorelli, Concetta. (1996). Mechanisms of Moral Disengagement in the Exercise of Moral Agency , accessed on May 20, 2025, https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232529624_Mechanisms_of_Moral_Disengagement_in_the_Exercise_of_Moral_Agency.