When Esau Wept - Rebuilding What Was Broken
Grief in families is real, but it is not the end of the story—through repentance, humility, and consistent change, trust and healing can be rebuilt over time. No matter the past, God offers restoration, and parents can begin again by taking intentional steps toward connection and growth.
Grief is a real emotion in families. Sometimes it is grief over rebellion. Sometimes it is grief over distance. Sometimes it is grief over missed years. But grief is not definitive; it does not mean the story is over.
Esau’s tears over his missed blessing remind us that unblessed hearts ache deeply. But tears can also signal awakening. If you realize you have missed moments with your children, do not drown in shame. Instead, ask forgiveness and walk towards repentance.
Repentance is not emotion - it is change. If your tone has been harsh, soften it. If your schedule has been crowded, simplify it. If your pride has blocked reconciliation, humble yourself.
Rebuilding trust requires consistency. Children who have felt unsafe need predictability – they need calm correction, kept promises, and visible effort. Safety can be restored, but it takes time. One of the first steps a parent should take is to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Saying, “I was wrong,” or “I want to do better, please forgive me,” are great phrases with which to start. These phrases model humility more powerfully than perfection ever could.
Generational healing begins with ownership. Many parents carry wounds from their own upbringing. It is tempting to excuse harshness by saying, “That’s how I was raised.” But cycles only continue if left unchallenged. No matter where you are in your parenting journey, ask the Holy Spirit to help unhealthy patterns end with you.
If home has been a place of grief or unhealthy patterns, walls may exist. However, do not assume it is too late to repair - God specializes in restoration.
Rebuild slowly by taking these first steps:
· Initiate contact.
· Avoid defensiveness.
· Listen more than you speak.
· Pray faithfully.
· Release outcomes to God.
The lamp of God has not gone out. As long as there is breath, there is opportunity. You cannot relive yesterday, but you can redeem today.
And if you are the parent who feels overwhelmed—anxious, exhausted, unsure—hear this clearly: God is not ashamed of you. He knew you would struggle. He chose you for this assignment anyway. Do not run from Him. Run to Him.
Esau wept—but the story of Scripture is ultimately one of redemption. Let your home reflect that redemptive hope.
Adapted from Joseph Girdler's new book Seeds of Contemplation, now available on joegirdler.com, Amazon and Barnes & Noble
