General
Our children today are growing up in an environment where disagreement is often loud, dismissive, and disrespectful. To disagree is often framed as courageous and seen as a brave act of defiance against authority. However, Scripture gives a different definition of disagreement – one that calls Christians, including children, to maintain conviction and truth while simultaneously honoring those God has put in authority.
As parents, our responsibility is not to raise children who never disagree, but, instead, to raise children who disagree well – without disrespect. The Bible is clear that it is possible to stand firm in our beliefs without compromising respect – something that strengthens our Christian witness.
Scripture teaches that authority is not accidental; it is established by God and those in authority are not there by accident. Romans 13:1 says, “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.”
This doesn’t mean that every decision a leader makes is right or fair. In fact, there are many examples in the Bible where God’s people faced flawed leadership or unjust laws. What remains consistent, though, is God’s emphasis on respect for authority and trust in His sovereignty, even when circumstances are difficult.
For children, understanding this concept begins with understanding God’s structure for society. God is a God of order; when we disrespect the authoritative structures He has put into place, it reveals a deeper issue of the heart: a lack of submission to God Himself.
Jesus provides the ultimate example of disagreeing without disrespect. Throughout His ministry, He openly challenged religious leaders and their teachings. He called out hypocrisy and false teaching, but He never resorted to personal attacks or dishonor. The way in which He disagreed modeled that conviction and humility are not opposites – the truth can be upheld while maintaining a respectful heart posture.
Scripture also gives several other examples that parents can share with their children. Two to consider starting with are Daniel and David.
- Daniel respectfully refused to eat the royal food presented to him, requesting an alternative instead of rebelling (Daniel 1). God honored this approach and Daniel’s obedience to his convictions.
- David refused to harm King Saul, even when Saul acted unjustly and even threatened David’s life. David recognized Saul’s God-given authority and trusted God to handle the outcome (1 Samuel 24).
Whether it involves an unfair coaching decision, workplace rule, or government leader’s action, children are watching how their parents respond to authority. When parents criticize teachers, mock political leaders, or openly disrespect those they disagree with, they are modeling for their children that submitting to authority is optional and honor is conditional.
While this does not mean that parents should stay silent or passive on issues that challenge their convictions, it does mean that they should follow what Scripture teaches about responding well in all circumstances. Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt.”
As situations arise that lead to disagreement, parents can use the following four practical tips to model healthy disagreement for children:
· Speak calmly and truthfully, using more fact than speculation
· Avoid sarcasm, mockery, or anger
· Choose the appropriate setting for discussions or comments
· Be clear that disagreement will not always lead to change and accept the ultimate decision with humility and grace
In doing this, our children will begin to understand that honoring authority is something Christians are called to, and that it is not a weakness, but that it is a reflection of trust in God who has established all authority in heaven and on earth.
Disagreement Without Disrespect
Scripture teaches that while disagreement is sometimes necessary, it must be done with respect for God-established authority. Through biblical examples like Jesus, Daniel, and David, parents can teach their children to stand firm in truth with humility and grace, modeling trust in God rather than disrespect.
As parents, our responsibility is not to raise children who never disagree, but, instead, to raise children who disagree well – without disrespect. The Bible is clear that it is possible to stand firm in our beliefs without compromising respect – something that strengthens our Christian witness.
Scripture teaches that authority is not accidental; it is established by God and those in authority are not there by accident. Romans 13:1 says, “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.”
This doesn’t mean that every decision a leader makes is right or fair. In fact, there are many examples in the Bible where God’s people faced flawed leadership or unjust laws. What remains consistent, though, is God’s emphasis on respect for authority and trust in His sovereignty, even when circumstances are difficult.
For children, understanding this concept begins with understanding God’s structure for society. God is a God of order; when we disrespect the authoritative structures He has put into place, it reveals a deeper issue of the heart: a lack of submission to God Himself.
Jesus provides the ultimate example of disagreeing without disrespect. Throughout His ministry, He openly challenged religious leaders and their teachings. He called out hypocrisy and false teaching, but He never resorted to personal attacks or dishonor. The way in which He disagreed modeled that conviction and humility are not opposites – the truth can be upheld while maintaining a respectful heart posture.
Scripture also gives several other examples that parents can share with their children. Two to consider starting with are Daniel and David.
- Daniel respectfully refused to eat the royal food presented to him, requesting an alternative instead of rebelling (Daniel 1). God honored this approach and Daniel’s obedience to his convictions.
- David refused to harm King Saul, even when Saul acted unjustly and even threatened David’s life. David recognized Saul’s God-given authority and trusted God to handle the outcome (1 Samuel 24).
Whether it involves an unfair coaching decision, workplace rule, or government leader’s action, children are watching how their parents respond to authority. When parents criticize teachers, mock political leaders, or openly disrespect those they disagree with, they are modeling for their children that submitting to authority is optional and honor is conditional.
While this does not mean that parents should stay silent or passive on issues that challenge their convictions, it does mean that they should follow what Scripture teaches about responding well in all circumstances. Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt.”
As situations arise that lead to disagreement, parents can use the following four practical tips to model healthy disagreement for children:
· Speak calmly and truthfully, using more fact than speculation
· Avoid sarcasm, mockery, or anger
· Choose the appropriate setting for discussions or comments
· Be clear that disagreement will not always lead to change and accept the ultimate decision with humility and grace
In doing this, our children will begin to understand that honoring authority is something Christians are called to, and that it is not a weakness, but that it is a reflection of trust in God who has established all authority in heaven and on earth.
