General
Guilt. Just the word itself can generate a plethora of emotions in even the purest soul.
Guilt, by definition, means “feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy.”
I would dare say, there isn’t a parent alive today who hasn’t felt a sense of inadequacy at some point in their parenting journey. Afterall, there is only one perfect Father, meaning we all miss the mark at some point in parenting.
It is my firm belief that the enemy’s number one weapon against parents is guilt. The Psalmist tells us that children are a GIFT from the Lord, they are a REWARD from Him. He also tells us that we are BLESSED when our quiver is full.
Since children are a blessing, a gift, a reward, you can see why the enemy would target them. The very last thing he wants is for us to feel rewarded and blessed. Rather, his desire is to see us frustrated, angry, anxious, on edge, doubting every decision we make, tired, stressed, worn out, and worn down. Unfortunately, for so many parents, his desire is being fulfilled.
I was such a parent for the first ten years of my parenting journey. My husband and I met a little later in life which put me at having my first child at 30 years old. We were elated!
We were both blessed with dear and Godly mothers…different as night and day, but each one loved their families and their Savior with fierce passion.
When my first child entered the world, a type of guilt I had never felt came right along with him.
“Do I work too much?”
“Did I feed him the right thing?”
“Does he get enough sleep?”
“Does he sleep too much?”
“Should I have let him watch that show?”
“Should I let him watch TV at all?”
And on and on it went until I was in a viscous cycle.
Enter the grandmothers…as Godly and precious as they were, the enemy took their words and their Godly counsel and twisted it in my mind. I truly believed for the next ten years, and with the birth of three more precious babies, that I would do nothing but royally mess up my children.
Then something happened…I experienced a guilt infused situation that put me on my face before God. I cried out to Him and said these exact words, “I can’t do it! I can’t raise Godly, healthy, happy, well-rounded, well-behaved children. Why you chose me to be their mother, I will never know. I. Cannot. Do. It.”
His response? “Good, now we can get somewhere. I never asked you to parent under ‘the law’ of guilt and shame. I’ve called you to parent in grace. When you parent in grace, you will do the best you can, and you will TRUST me to do what you can’t.”
Seems so simple, doesn’t it?
I had taken His gift, His reward, His blessing and made it something it was never supposed to be…almost like an idol (That’s a blog for another day).
When I got up from that personal prayer meeting, I was a new person. I began to parent in grace - meaning I did what I thought was best, without second guessing my every move, and then I trusted God to do His part. And even if I made mistakes
(of which I made about a million and two), I knew He was faithful and gracious enough to fix them for me. I began to actually enjoy parenting!
Today, I have four children who all serve in vocational or volunteer roles at their churches, and, most importantly, who all love and follow Jesus.
I include this to ASSURE you, if you lean into God’s grace, give yourself grace as a mother or a father, you will do a better job of parenting the children God has blessed you with AND the parenting journey will be much more enjoyable.
Parents, please don’t let guilt rob you of the JOY God intended when He gifted us, blessed us, and rewarded us with children.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bio
Cary and Leann Rosenbaum have been married for 30 years. Cary is the lead pastor at Bethel Assembly of God in Jacksonville, AR. They were kid’s pastors for ten years and have served as lead pastors for 20 years. Leann has been a public-school teacher and now, together with Cary, leads a ministry in 13 public schools in central AR teaching healthy relationships to over 3000 students each school year.
Their four children are also very active in the ministry, and the first grandbaby is expected to make his arrival May 2026.
Have Yourself a "Guilt-Free" Christmas
Many parents struggle with guilt, feeling inadequate or like they’re constantly falling short, but guilt can steal the joy God intends for families. By surrendering these feelings to God and choosing to parent with grace—doing their best and trusting Him—parents can raise their children with confidence and truly enjoy the blessings they’ve been given.
Guilt, by definition, means “feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy.”
I would dare say, there isn’t a parent alive today who hasn’t felt a sense of inadequacy at some point in their parenting journey. Afterall, there is only one perfect Father, meaning we all miss the mark at some point in parenting.
It is my firm belief that the enemy’s number one weapon against parents is guilt. The Psalmist tells us that children are a GIFT from the Lord, they are a REWARD from Him. He also tells us that we are BLESSED when our quiver is full.
Since children are a blessing, a gift, a reward, you can see why the enemy would target them. The very last thing he wants is for us to feel rewarded and blessed. Rather, his desire is to see us frustrated, angry, anxious, on edge, doubting every decision we make, tired, stressed, worn out, and worn down. Unfortunately, for so many parents, his desire is being fulfilled.
I was such a parent for the first ten years of my parenting journey. My husband and I met a little later in life which put me at having my first child at 30 years old. We were elated!
We were both blessed with dear and Godly mothers…different as night and day, but each one loved their families and their Savior with fierce passion.
When my first child entered the world, a type of guilt I had never felt came right along with him.
“Do I work too much?”
“Did I feed him the right thing?”
“Does he get enough sleep?”
“Does he sleep too much?”
“Should I have let him watch that show?”
“Should I let him watch TV at all?”
And on and on it went until I was in a viscous cycle.
Enter the grandmothers…as Godly and precious as they were, the enemy took their words and their Godly counsel and twisted it in my mind. I truly believed for the next ten years, and with the birth of three more precious babies, that I would do nothing but royally mess up my children.
Then something happened…I experienced a guilt infused situation that put me on my face before God. I cried out to Him and said these exact words, “I can’t do it! I can’t raise Godly, healthy, happy, well-rounded, well-behaved children. Why you chose me to be their mother, I will never know. I. Cannot. Do. It.”
His response? “Good, now we can get somewhere. I never asked you to parent under ‘the law’ of guilt and shame. I’ve called you to parent in grace. When you parent in grace, you will do the best you can, and you will TRUST me to do what you can’t.”
Seems so simple, doesn’t it?
I had taken His gift, His reward, His blessing and made it something it was never supposed to be…almost like an idol (That’s a blog for another day).
When I got up from that personal prayer meeting, I was a new person. I began to parent in grace - meaning I did what I thought was best, without second guessing my every move, and then I trusted God to do His part. And even if I made mistakes
(of which I made about a million and two), I knew He was faithful and gracious enough to fix them for me. I began to actually enjoy parenting!
Today, I have four children who all serve in vocational or volunteer roles at their churches, and, most importantly, who all love and follow Jesus.
I include this to ASSURE you, if you lean into God’s grace, give yourself grace as a mother or a father, you will do a better job of parenting the children God has blessed you with AND the parenting journey will be much more enjoyable.
Parents, please don’t let guilt rob you of the JOY God intended when He gifted us, blessed us, and rewarded us with children.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bio
Cary and Leann Rosenbaum have been married for 30 years. Cary is the lead pastor at Bethel Assembly of God in Jacksonville, AR. They were kid’s pastors for ten years and have served as lead pastors for 20 years. Leann has been a public-school teacher and now, together with Cary, leads a ministry in 13 public schools in central AR teaching healthy relationships to over 3000 students each school year.
Their four children are also very active in the ministry, and the first grandbaby is expected to make his arrival May 2026.
