Educational

Keeping Kids Safe Online

What Deuteronomy 6 teaches about parenting in a digital age

About 16% of children experience sexual abuse online, according to a recent study by researchers at the University of New Hampshire's Crime Against Children Research Center.

Clearly, we need to pray fervently for our children. But we also need to take action. An African proverb says, "When you pray, move your feet."

Parents are the first line of defense when it comes to protecting kids from explicit sexual content and online predators. Yes, parents should pray. But parents must also help their kids navigate the world with faith and wisdom.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is instructive:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

We start with teaching the Word of God. At home. In the car. Walking to the park. While getting up in the morning and going to bed at night.

This passage does not say anything about online safety, of course, but the principles are applicable. God calls us to active involvement in our children's lives. He wants us to come alongside them, providing guideance at every stage. If they go online, parents need to accompany them as well.

I watched my daughter, Angie, do this as her kids entered their tween years. Just as Angie did not let her children cross a busy street alone until she was sure they were competent, she did not let them jump into the fast lane of the internet alone either.

Angie laid out rules and pointed out risks. My grandchildren protested at times, but Angie lovingly persisted.

As they grow, children naturally want to become more independent — and they should mature toward independence. Yet they also need protection and training along the way.

Resisting holding a parent's hand is normal behavior for a 3-year-old, but a responsible parent will not let a toddler run into traffic. Similarly, a 16-year-old who complains about rules still needs some parental oversight.

Recognizing this tension, Angie established appropriate boundaries while also providing opportunities for her kids to practice good decision making. She reminded them that internet access is a privilege, not a right, and that keeping them safe was her priority.

When the kids were old enough for social media, Angie followed the Deuteronomy 6 template. She checked in on her teens' accounts as they were going to bed and as they were getting up.

Angie repeated her instructions again and again. She talked with her kids at home. She talked with them outside the home and included their friends — their micro-communities.

When should you start these conversations? Start early. Start now.

Teach young kids physical boundaries. Instill confidence in your children to talk to you about their questions and any experience that does not feel right. You are their trusted adult. Practice chatting IRL (in real life).

Come alongside your kids when they are online. Prohibiting online activity is challenging for all concerned. Consider appropriate limits, such as digital curfews and non digital family activities around meals or games.

We can't expect kids to avoid electronic devices entirely, so we have to teach them how to be safe while using them. During the pandemic, even young children had to do school online.

Although driving comes with risks, it is a necessary skill in today's world. Observing the rules of the road makes it safer. The same is true of digital technology. Teach your kids how to navigate the internet safely.

As your children whether they know all their "friends" on social media. And be sure you are among their friends. Include your kids in your online activities. Share a meme or an insightful quote.

Join your children when they are gaming online. Check privacy settings, and ask them how they handle interruptions. (Did you even know people interrupt during games? Take the time to learn about the online environments your kids are engaging.)

The free website Netsmartz has resources for parents, teachers, and communities to promote online safety in age-appropriate ways.

God designed families to be the first line of defense for children. Commit to praying and moving your feet to protect the kids in your home and church.