{"id":545,"date":"2025-06-24T00:30:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T05:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/igniteparenstg.wpenginepowered.com\/?p=545"},"modified":"2026-07-28T10:46:35","modified_gmt":"2026-07-28T15:46:35","slug":"conflict-as-connection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/conflict-as-connection\/","title":{"rendered":"El conflicto como conexi\u00f3n: hacer que las luchas trabajen para nosotros"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><em>conflicto.<\/em> Es algo que todos instintivamente tratamos de evitar, \u00bfno es as\u00ed? El solo hecho de leer la palabra puede hacer que algunos de nosotros nos retuerzcamos. Luchamos con el conflicto y luchamos a trav\u00e9s de \u00e9l, por lo que no es de extra\u00f1ar que a menudo busquemos distanciarnos de \u00e9l. Sin embargo, no importa cu\u00e1nto nos esforcemos por evitar el conflicto, \u00e9ste nos encuentra. Como dijo una vez el renombrado psicoanalista Carl Jung: \"Aquello a lo que te resistes no solo persiste, sino que crecer\u00e1 en tama\u00f1o\".\u00b9 Si resistir el conflicto funciona en nuestra contra, tal vez sea hora de hacer que el conflicto trabaje a favor para nosotros.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the context of families, many fear that conflict signals failure or that arguing is volatile and leaves irreparable damage. They worry that conflict means they aren't the parents or family members they believed themselves to be. However, as a therapist, I view conflict differently. I see it as a healthy and normal part of relationships. In fact, when a family tells me they experience no conflict,&nbsp;<em>I<\/em>&nbsp;squirm a little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If we are going to handle conflict well, we must shift its implication. While conflict is technically defined as \"a struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or demands,\"\u00b2 many associate it only with broken relationships, hurt feelings, and unmet needs. But what if conflict could be a&nbsp;<em>connector<\/em>&nbsp;instead of a divider?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">La familia Smith: dos escenarios<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pensemos en la familia Smith. El Sr. Smith acaba de recibir un gran ascenso, lo que aumenta sus horas de trabajo. La Sra. Smith siente r\u00e1pidamente la tensi\u00f3n a medida que asume m\u00e1s responsabilidades dom\u00e9sticas y de crianza. Permanece en silencio para evitar revolver la olla, pero la irritabilidad aumenta, lo que la lleva a criticar a sus hijos, especialmente a Suzie Smith, cuya naturaleza extrovertida la hace m\u00e1s notable. Suzie Smith, a su vez, se pone a la defensiva y se retrae. Mientras tanto, Sammy Smith, m\u00e1s callado por naturaleza, se retira al uso intensivo de dispositivos, lidiando en silencio con el acoso escolar y la tentaci\u00f3n en l\u00ednea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Desde el exterior, todo parece estar bien; un ascenso, una ama de casa y ni\u00f1os tranquilos. Internamente, sin embargo, el dolor y la soledad est\u00e1n erosionando los lazos de la familia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Now, imagine an alternative ending. Mr. Smith notices his wife's irritability and respectfully addresses it rather than ignoring it. Though initially defensive, Mrs. Smith communicates her feelings of being overwhelmed. Mr. Smith listens humbly and apologizes, asking how he can help.&nbsp;<em>Repair has occurred<\/em>. Suzie Smith confronts her mom\u2019s irritability, and instead of escalating the conflict, she sees this as an&nbsp;<strong>opportunity for connection<\/strong>. Mrs. Smith listens, apologizes, and schedules intentional time to reconnect.&nbsp;<em>Repair has occurred.&nbsp;<\/em>Noticing Sammy Smith\u2019s withdrawal, both parents use curiosity and join him in his world of video games They take the&nbsp;<strong>opportunity for connection&nbsp;<\/strong>to come into his world, so as to connect with a retreated boy and bring him out. They later use open-ended questions to help him open up about his struggles at school and phone usage.&nbsp;<em>Repair has occurred.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00bfLa diferencia? En el primer escenario, se evit\u00f3 el conflicto, pero el da\u00f1o se intensific\u00f3. En el segundo, se enfrent\u00f3 el conflicto y se convirti\u00f3 en un puente hacia una conexi\u00f3n m\u00e1s profunda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Esta es la f\u00f3rmula:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Conflicto correctamente manejado + Reparaci\u00f3n = Mayor conexi\u00f3n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">O simplemente: el conflicto reparado es una oportunidad para una conexi\u00f3n m\u00e1s profunda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">undamentos para navegar el conflicto<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">El manejo de conflictos y la b\u00fasqueda de reparaciones requieren algunos patrones fundamentales:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>1. Estar en sinton\u00eda:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">La sinton\u00eda significa estar f\u00edsica y emocionalmente presente para reconocer y responder a las necesidades de los dem\u00e1s. \u00bfEstamos lo suficientemente presentes f\u00edsica y mentalmente para identificar cuando hay un problema en nuestra familia? Cuando reconocemos algo, \u00bftenemos el ancho de banda para responder?  Dios es nuestro modelo en estar siempre sintonizado en Su omnipresencia, y promete escuchar y responder a nuestra necesidad:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\"El Se\u00f1or est\u00e1 cerca de todos los que lo invocan, de todos los que lo invocan con verdad. \u00c9l satisface los deseos de los que le temen; \u00c9l oye su clamor y los salva\". (Salmo 145:18-19)\u00b3<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>2. Practique el autoexamen:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">En segundo lugar, debemos examinarnos continuamente a nosotros mismos y rendir cuentas a los miembros de nuestra familia. Ellos son nuestro primer ministerio; nuestro primer ministerio; Si no ponemos nuestro coraz\u00f3n en esto, entonces ning\u00fan otro ministerio importa. Mi vers\u00edculo favorito para el autoexamen es:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\"\u00a1Exam\u00edname, oh Dios, y conoce mi coraz\u00f3n! \u00a1Pru\u00e9bame y conoce mis pensamientos! \u00a1Y mira si hay en m\u00ed alg\u00fan camino doloroso, y gu\u00edame por el camino eterno!\" (Salmo 139: 23-24)\u2074<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>3. Regulate Emotions:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Este es un patr\u00f3n fundamental en el que debemos llegar a ser buenos para nosotros mismos, nuestros matrimonios y nuestras familias. Para regular, nosotros, como adultos, debemos modelar la autoconciencia, nombrar las emociones y usar estrategias tranquilizadoras, habilidades que luego transmitimos a nuestros hijos. Nuestros hijos no nacen con habilidades de autorregulaci\u00f3n. Modelamos y les ense\u00f1amos habilidades para auto-calmarse. La Biblia nos muestra los beneficios de regular las emociones:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cWhoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;than he who takes a city.\u201d (Proverbs 16:32, ESV).\u2075&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Es un signo de fuerza y sabidur\u00eda manejar nuestras propias emociones. Se necesita un esfuerzo intencional para hacer una pausa, reflexionar y responder de una manera que se alinee con nuestros valores.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>4. Buscar reparaci\u00f3n y reconciliaci\u00f3n:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cuando surge un conflicto, buscamos reconciliarnos, ya sea a trav\u00e9s de disculpas, jugando juntos, compromisos o planes preventivos. Como Jes\u00fas ense\u00f1\u00f3:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\"Primero reconc\u00edliate con tu hermano, y luego ven y ofrece tu ofrenda\". (Mateo 5:24)\u2076<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Habilidades para la gesti\u00f3n de conflictos<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Una vez que se sientan las bases, estas habilidades ayudan a transformar el conflicto en conexi\u00f3n:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Open Communication:<\/strong>\u00a0Model and encourage respectful, honest dialogue. Each member of the family should be comfortable expressing their inner experience without fear of condemnation or judgment, just as we should with God. Using\u00a0<strong>active listening skills<\/strong>\u00a0is crucial, such as eye contact, respectful body language, and no interruptions. When in conflict, the use of\u00a0<strong>\u201cI\u201d statements<\/strong>\u00a0rather than \u201cYou\u201d statements creates an easier delivery (e.g. \u201cI feel upset when the trash is not taken out\u201d rather than \u201cYou never listen!\u201d). Ask\u00a0<strong>clarifying questions<\/strong>\u00a0such as, \u201cI heard you say that you are feeling tired because of school, and it\u2019s hard for you to get your chores done. Is that right?\u201d Finally, employ the\u00a0<strong>\u201cstart-over\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0strategy. The rule is, if conflict does get out of hand, one of us can ask for a \u201cstart-over\u201d and we abide by these rules.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Regulate Emotions in the Moment:<\/strong>\u00a0Again, as adults, we must model and maintain regulated emotions as we communicate our complaint or concern. We then help our children maintain a sense of control over their emotions through words like, \u201cI know this is upsetting, so let\u2019s take a breath together.\u201d If needed, we call a time out if the situation has escalated to being unproductive.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Focus on the Issue, Not the Person:<\/strong>\u00a0Critique behaviors, not character. No one wants to be attacked, even when they have done something wrong. Instead, we address the issue without criticizing the person. Rules are no name-calling or blaming.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Practice Empathy:<\/strong>\u00a0Step into your family member\u2019s shoes. Understanding their perspective often defuses anger and builds compassion and connection.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Pursue Resolution, Not Winning:<\/strong>\u00a0In family conflict, there are no winners and losers. The goal is connection, not conquest. Being heard matters more than being right.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Conclusi\u00f3n<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Conflict and its resolution are an art and a practice. Managing conflict in families isn't about avoiding tension, but learning to navigate it with honesty, empathy, and patience. When each person feels heard and valued, even difficult conversations can become opportunities for growth, and more importantly an&nbsp;<strong>opportunity for connection<\/strong>. With compassion and commitment, families can move from cycles of conflict toward spaces of healing, understanding, and resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00b9 Carl Jung,&nbsp;<em>The Portable Jung<\/em>, ed. Joseph Campbell, trans. R. F. C. Hull (New York: Penguin Books, 1976), 383.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00b2 Merriam-Webster, s.v. \"conflict,\" accessed April 28, 2025,&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.merriam-webster.com\/dictionary\/conflict\" target=\"_blank\">https:\/\/www.merriam-webster.com\/dictionary\/conflict<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00b3 La Santa Biblia, Versi\u00f3n Est\u00e1ndar en Ingl\u00e9s (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Salmo 145:18\u201319.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2074 Ibid., Psalm 139:23-24.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2075 La Santa Biblia, Nueva Versi\u00f3n Internacional (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Santiago 1:19.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u2076 La Santa Biblia, Versi\u00f3n Est\u00e1ndar en Ingl\u00e9s, Mateo 5:24.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph translation-block\"><strong>Jessica Wojnarowski<\/strong> es una Consejera Profesional Licenciada (LPC) en Emerge Counseling Ministries, donde se dedica a ayudar a las personas y familias a encontrar la sanaci\u00f3n a trav\u00e9s de la atenci\u00f3n compasiva y basada en la fe. Obtuvo su Maestr\u00eda en Consejer\u00eda de la Universidad de Liberty. Jessica ha estado casada durante 20 a\u00f1os y es una orgullosa madre de cuatro hijos, aprovechando tanto su formaci\u00f3n profesional como su experiencia de vida para apoyar y guiar a aquellos a quienes sirve.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>El conflicto es inevitable en las familias, pero cuando se maneja con honestidad, empat\u00eda y gracia, se convierte en una oportunidad para una conexi\u00f3n m\u00e1s profunda, no para la divisi\u00f3n.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":546,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[211,48,150,165,39,151],"coauthors":[259],"class_list":["post-545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-real-talk","tag-children","tag-christian-parenting","tag-conflict","tag-emotional-health","tag-family","tag-repair"],"acf":[],"meta_box":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/545","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=545"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/545\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":936,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/545\/revisions\/936"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/546"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=545"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=545"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=545"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/igniteparenting.com\/es-es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=545"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}